put him in panties: Chapter 4: Lingerie Discipline

A gradual progression

If you're already employing erotic feminization in your lovemaking, extending it to encompass lingerie discipline is a natural progression - so natural, in fact, that your husband may never notice the difference as he moves from wearing women's underwear exclusively in the bedroom to donning lingerie on other occasions too. As we saw in the last chapter, the obvious introduction to doing so is to suggest that he gets dressed up in advance of any nocturnal fun, presenting him with his feminine frillies beforehand in order to heighten his anticipation of the main event. It's easy to see how the length of time he must wear a bra and panties for prior to any action can be gradually increased over time, with a couple of hours watching a film or enjoying a meal together soon becoming an afternoon or even an entire day. The erotic connotations of the intervening time can correspondingly diminish until your husband is going about his everyday business wearing lingerie without any further encouragement from yourself - it's only his underwear that reminds him of its presence.

Alternatively, wearing lingerie for less intimate purposes can be presented as a dare, or as we shall see in the next chapter, a means of making things up to you after letting you down. So long as the idea of donning women's underwear isn't completely novel to him, such that any initial objections have been dealt with on an earlier occasion, it's surprisingly simple to persuade a man to wear such feminine attire, even when there's no promise of any reward afterwards. Once he's worn panties once, even in the bedroom, it becomes far easier to have him do so again in less erotic circumstances, let alone when he's grown used to wearing them as part of your sexual repertoire. That's why we recommend you start with erotic feminization even if your ultimate intention is to focus primarily on lingerie discipline, as doing so will gently ease your husband into the idea of wearing women's underwear for you, overcoming any reluctance far more easily than might otherwise be the case.

Without the attendant sense of sexual tension to encourage him, a man who has to wear panties or a bra outside of the intimacy of the bedroom is sure to be acutely aware of his unorthodox attire, thanks to the unique combination of physical and psychological sensations it engenders in him. This constant and unforgettable reminder of what he is wearing forms the foundation of lingerie discipline's power in so far as it affects a man's attitude and behaviour, but it can require a little getting used to on his part. To begin with, he may feel rather anxious or awkward about the prospect of wearing such feminine attire in the cold light of day, and men of a more nervous disposition may be genuinely scared by the thought of having to do so in the presence of other people. Immediately expecting your husband to wear panties, stockings and a bra to work is therefore unreasonable as well as impractical - as with other aspects of him wearing lingerie, it's far better to start small and develop things gradually, taking a longer term approach to achieve the results you desire.

It may sound a little strange to talk about building up a man's confidence when it comes to wearing women's underwear, given how lingerie discipline encourages the more submissive aspects of his personality, but it is necessary nonetheless. Although having to wear panties under his trousers or a bra beneath his shirt is sure to make him gentler and less aggressive, as well as kinder and more considerate of your needs, it's essential to keep him on side in order to fully appreciate such benefits. As such, you'll need to help him through any fears he may have, particularly those involving others discovering his intimate attire, gradually extending the limits of what he's comfortable with until he's where you want him to be - whether that's the occasional visit out all dolled up in his frillies, or wearing panties as his regular underwear.

The same goes for any concerns you may have - it's understandable to be worried about someone you love, especially when you're asking them to do something they wouldn't otherwise have done. It's certainly not unreasonable to share some of your husband's anxieties about being found out, particularly when considering having him wear lingerie outside the safety of your house for the very first time, a fear of the unknown that's perfectly natural. Any such qualms are sure to evaporate once you see for yourself how simple, safe and effective lingerie discipline can be. Nevertheless, just as your husband needs a little time to get used to the idea, you may find you also benefit from taking things slowly, going only as far as you feel comfortable rather than rushing in headlong.

To begin with, therefore, it's best to start off around the house, where however embarrassed your husband may be about having to wear lingerie in front of you, he's otherwise safe from prying eyes. Later, we'll see how wanting to avoid discovery can actually work to your advantage in such a situation, with obvious lingerie acting as a powerful incentive for your husband to stay in - he certainly won't want to be going anywhere else if his padded bra is painfully obvious under his top, let alone if the top in question is a pretty camisole. For boosting his confidence as a prelude to going out and about in women's underwear, however, less evident lingerie is far better - especially if you inform him just how hidden it really is. “You know I could never tell that you were wearing panties if I didn't already know, and as for that bra, it's only when I hug you that I can feel it's there. You could wear it out in the street and no-one would give you a second glance - not unless you went around hugging people, of course! Maybe I'll have you do that for me sometime”.

Once he's grown used to wearing lingerie around the house, you may wish to progress to have him wear it in public too. Obviously, when we talk about a man wearing lingerie in public, we don't mean that his underwear is visible for all to see - although the wearer may be out in public, what he's wearing underneath remains strictly private! Lingerie discipline certainly doesn't involve any kind of exhibitionism or public humiliation - it's about what your husband feels on the inside that counts. Even though he may be convinced that everyone around him knows exactly what he's got on under his trousers, the truth is that it's perfectly possible for a man to keep his lingerie safely hidden - unlike many of today's younger women, who see no shame in showing off visible panty lines, whale tails and bra straps with almost reckless abandon.

Naturally, wearing panties and a bra in public is a big step for any man, one which is best softened by starting out in a safe environment where it doesn't really matter if someone does see what he's wearing - however unlikely that may be. The anonymity of a large shopping mall is ideal for this, especially one in a neighbouring town where you're unlikely to bump into people you know. Ironically, confronting his anxieties about being caught out in feminine attire is a true challenge of a man's masculine courage, making returning from such a shopping trip a surprisingly liberating experience for him. In turn, going out closer to home or in the presence of more familiar people becomes a more viable proposition for him - one that he's less likely to reject out of hand, knowing that he's able to do it, however nervous it might make him feel. This gradual development can soon having him wearing lingerie in situations that would be quite unthinkable at the outset, simply by taking things slowly.

When can he wear lingerie?

So where else might you want to have your husband wear lingerie? The possibilities are practically endless, but the answer is perfectly simple - anywhere you would benefit from encouraging the kinder, gentler and more submissive aspects of his personality. In public, your husband can wear women's underwear whenever he's wearing enough other clothing to keep his intimate attire safely hidden, whereas in private, he can do so any time you like - as much or as little as you feel is appropriate. To begin with, you'll probably want to do so on an occasional basis, putting him in panties for particular circumstances or situations where he's sure to benefit from their unique power. For instance, why not consider having your husband wear women's underwear for:

doing chores

We've already considered the merits of putting your husband in lingerie as a prelude to having some fun in the bedroom, but that's far from the only use of such feminine attire around the house. In a less erotic context, the submissive state of mind that wearing women's underwear engenders in a man is perfect for having him take care of the household chores, his intimate attire helping to overcome any reluctance he might have towards doing such domestic tasks. He'll find it hard to argue against doing his fair share of the housework when his bra and panties are there to remind him just who's in charge, whereas if he has any lingering notions that cleaning should be the sole preserve of women, his lingerie will soon educate him as to the error of his ways!

Incidentally, it's not just women's underwear that can be employed in this way. A pretty apron can make all the difference in the kitchen or the bathroom, with the man wearing it sure to be affected by its feminine influence from the moment its bow is tied behind his back - even if he's not wearing a padded bra underneath. Some women like to take things even further, having their husband wear a full maid's uniform on top of his lingerie as he goes about his domestic duties, a subject we'll be returning to later in this book. Whether you follow their example or simply put him in panties prior to setting him to work about the house, you'll be sure to appreciate having the load taken off your shoulders - so sit back and relax while your husband takes care of things for you!

Like many of the other things discussed in this book, transforming your husband into the perfect household help is best achieved with a gradual progression, starting off with small, simple tasks that he can't go wrong with, before working up to more complicated chores - especially the ones you hate! You can start off by having him help out when he's already suitably attired, but then turn things on their head next time by insisting he gets dressed for the occasion, just like he was the last time. It's easy to see how that can soon lead to a regular routine, until before he knows it he's quite domesticated! We'll be exploring the subject of male maids in more depth later on.
a shopping trip

Many women find that going shopping with their husbands can be something of a fraught experience, whether they're out looking for clothing or simply shopping for the week's groceries. One moment he's too impulsive, running off on a whim, the next he listless and bored, having grown tired of waiting for you to find that perfect outfit - if only there were a way to even things out, such that he remained suitably attentive throughout! Putting him in panties before you go out is just the answer, let alone adding a matching bra and stockings to what he'll have to wear for the duration of your shopping trip - all safely hidden beneath his outerwear. Once he's in the embrace of such intimate attire, its mere presence will do the rest, making even the most mundane of shopping trips a far less forgettable experience for the wearer.

Having to wear lingerie in a public setting, even one as anonymous as a bustling shopping mall, is likely to pose a challenging prospect for your husband, guaranteed to bring his softer, more submissive aspects to the fore. Once he steps out of the safety of the house, it's practically impossible for him to change out of his embarrassing underwear without revealing it to all and sundry, yet at the same time, every moment he spends so attired is one that harbours a nagging doubt that those around him know exactly what he's wearing underneath. However unlikely this is to be the case, the fear of discovery still poses quite a predicament when out and about, one that's compounded when shopping for further feminine attire - whether for yourself, or for him. In truth, no shop assistant or fellow customer will have an inkling about what you've made him wear, but that won't make their gaze any easier for your husband, rendering him far more attentive to your prospective purchases as a result.

One way of introducing your husband to wearing lingerie in public is simply just to have him do so without making a big deal out of it. If he's already wearing panties around the house for whatever reason, get your coats and tell him you're taking him shopping, without any suggestion that doing so in panties is in any way special. He can be out of the door and into the car before he fully appreciates the implications of the trip, but by then it's too late - he's out in public in his panties, and will soon realise that doing so is nowhere near as bad as he might have feared. If you reward him royally on your return, something that can be mentioned in advance should any reluctance arise on his part, what might have appeared to be a big step is actually no trouble at all. Once he's done so once, it's much easier to have him do so again and again, until shopping with you in his panties is a regular affair.
a night on the town

It's not unnatural for a man to want to go out drinking with his friends, but sadly, it's possible for him to have too much of a good thing, staggering home well after closing time thoroughly the worse for wear. Any woman who has had to experience the worry of waiting up for an intoxicated husband knows just how inconsiderate such boorish behaviour is, but it can be dangerous too. A drunken run-in with the law is the last thing your husband needs, let alone an altercation with other revellers or simply a piece of street furniture - all undesirable outcomes of drinking too much. It doesn't matter how much you might scold him after the event or nag him to behave himself beforehand, what he really needs is a reminder that's there with him throughout, acting as a proxy in your absence to encourage him to do the right thing.

Making your husband wear lingerie for a night on the town is a great way of ensuring that he'll resist the temptation to take things too far. While his intimate attire won't stop him enjoying himself in moderation, it'll curb any tendency to overdo it - he won't want to have one too many when doing so runs the very real risk of revealing his embarrassing secret to his drinking buddies. All that's needed from you is a simple reminder that keeping his lingerie hidden will become progressively harder the more he drinks, and your husband's natural fear of discovery will do the rest - he won't want to become a laughing stock among his friends, nor have to explain to them why his wife makes him wear women's underwear. The tight embrace of his bra and snug squeeze of his panties are sure to keep him on the straight and narrow, bringing him back in time for bed without any further worry on your part, yet still allowing him to have a good time - in moderation!
a dinner party

A fashionable dinner party is a great way of socialising with friends, but sometimes people can get somewhat carried away, perhaps flirting a little too much for comfort or getting excessively tactile with one another. If your husband has a habit of becoming rather more intimate with other women than you might like, simply make him wear lingerie to such social occasions. Safely hidden beneath his suit, no-one need ever know about his stockings, panties and bra so long as he maintains a respectful distance from the other diners, but lingering embraces will be a thing of the past - ironically, such feminine underwear will encourage a firm, masculine handshake instead! Moreover, his intimate attire will remind your husband precisely who's the belle of the ball - no matter how enticingly other ladies may be dressed, he'll only have eyes for you as a result of its discreet presence.

A meal with the in-laws can often be an equally awkward affair, with old family rivalries coming to the fore. Whether it's oneupmanship with his brother in law or simply wanting to prove himself to his father in law, sometimes men can get a bit carried away when it comes to wanting to outdo one another. Then there's antagonism between a man and his mother in law, not to mention a host of individual issues that every family harbours - all things that can ruin an otherwise perfectly pleasant gathering. Again, a little lingerie is just the ticket for subduing the less desirable aspects of your husband's masculinity, moderating his behaviour to the benefit of all involved - without anyone else at the table knowing anything about what's he wearing underneath. Should he start to take things too far, a cryptic reminder about his little secret is all that's needed to bring him back in a line - it's something he's sure to want to keep strictly between the two of you, and so will behave himself accordingly.

Of course, dining with the in-laws and partying with friends are not the only occasions on which you might want to have your husband dress up for dinner - a romantic evening alone together makes for a far more pleasurable experience, whether in the environs of an expensive restaurant or the intimacy of your own dining room. Having him wear lingerie is sure to add extra spice to his meal, not only livening things up for him, but setting a useful precedent that you can call upon later. “You wore your panties for me when we went out last”, you can tell him, inevitably bringing to mind the intimate activities that followed the candlelit dinner in question, “so let's do that again tonight”. It doesn't matter if he'll be wearing them for a completely different purpose - they'll still have an equally profound effect upon him nonetheless.
going to bed

Although lingerie is a great way of livening things up in the bedroom, there's more than one reason why a woman might wear a babydoll or negligée between the sheets. However loaded with erotic connotations such garments may be, they can also serve the more practical purpose of being simply nightwear, offering a luxurious night's sleep in the comfort of soft satin and smooth silk. It's a world apart from the plain cotton pyjamas or T-shirt and shorts that your husband may be used to wearing at night, but that doesn't mean you can't send him to bed in something far more feminine - if only to sleep! Whether you have him keep on what he's wearing after you've been fooling around one evening, or simply have him change into a pretty babydoll or nightgown as he's getting ready for bed, he's sure to find wearing it a night to remember.

You don't have to limit your husband's nighttime attire to what a woman might wear to bed. If he's been wearing more traditional lingerie as part of your lovemaking, he can keep that on too - while you might not want to sleep in your bra and panties, there's no reason why you can't suggest your husband do so in his, along with stockings and even a nightgown on top if you prefer. There's nothing like waking up already all dolled up in feminine finery to remind a man of his position, imposing a submissive state of mind on him right from the very beginning of the day. If you fancy a little early morning action, you can start where you left off the night before, but equally you can simply get up and get on with the day - it's up to you. You can even ask your feminized husband to treat you to breakfast in bed - already in lingerie, he'll be happy to serve.

It's worth noting that the unfamiliar sensations of women's underwear can make it difficult for a man to get a good night's sleep, especially when he's not used to wearing such feminine garments. While your husband will soon have no trouble sleeping in such nightwear if you have him do so on a regular basis, you may find he has rather a hard time of it to begin with - in more ways than one if he's turned on by having to spend the night in arousing attire. Be patient with him if he wakes up grumpy or with a sore head, perhaps even going so far as to reward him for going along with his lingerie discipline before getting up in the morning. Doing so will make it easier to persuade him to do so again in future, even if you don't intend such intimate pleasures to be an automatic consequence of complying with your wishes in this matter.

Returning to our theme of gradually developing lingerie discipline over time, the occasional night spent in feminine attire can soon become a more regular affair, ultimately even leading to your husband wearing nothing but women's nightwear to bed if you so desire. He doesn't necessarily have to wear a full complement of lingerie, however fun that can be for more intimate games, just the kind of nightclothes a woman might - perhaps slinky, satin pyjamas or a skimpy babydoll nightdress. Even without any carnal connotations, the bedroom is the perfect place for having your husband wear such clothing - where else do you spend eight hours together with no-one else knowing what you get up to?
a business meeting

Some men are expected to wine and dine clients, others merely work long hours in the office. Either way, it's all too easy for them to relegate their wives to second place when faced with matters at hand - whether it's the pressing needs of yet another departmental meeting, or merely catching up with work that really ought to have been delegated elsewhere. Without being there yourself, it's hard to know how much of your husband's overtime really is essential to his long-term career prospects and how much he goes along with simply because doing so is easier than saying no. You may even have nagging doubts about whether he enjoys socialising with clients and colleagues a little too much - especially if he has a tendency to flirt with those of the female variety.

If you'd rather your husband came back from the office no later than strictly necessary, simply put him in panties prior to going to work, and add stockings and suspenders, a bra or even foundation wear as appropriate to the situation. As we'll see in the appropriate chapters, it's perfectly possible to disguise the presence of such lingerie under his suit and tie, but that doesn't mean your husband will be able to ignore its persistent reminder of your wishes. “I want you wearing these today”, you can tell him as you present him with the garments in question, “so you won't forget to come home on time tonight”. He won't want to spend any longer than he has to away from you when doing so means wearing such feminine attire in front of his boss, and he'll be perfectly immune to the charms of his clients, however alluring they might otherwise be.

Making it more regular

Over time, you may find that you prefer your husband when he's wearing lingerie for you, appreciating the subtle and yet profound changes such intimate attire brings to his attitude and behaviour. As we've already touched on, it's easy to extend your husband's lingerie discipline from being an occasional thing into a more regular affair, and the obvious place to start is by insisting that he dresses up for you each and every time a particular circumstance arises. If making him wear a bra encourages him to do the cleaning, for instance, you can set a time each week for him to do so, strapping him into one before setting him to work. Similarly, if wearing stockings and suspenders ensures that he's never late home from the office or the bar, such feminine underwear can easily become part of his expected attire for such occasions, donned as a matter of course and checked before he sets out.

Beyond that, lingerie can become a more integral part of his wardrobe. His boxer shorts and briefs can be augmented, if not replaced entirely, by panties and thongs, and his cotton socks can sit alongside nylon stockings, next to a selection of bras. Doing so is sure to bring about an attendant change in his attitude, helping your husband regard such garments as his, to be worn in their place just like anything other, rather than being something special reserved solely for frolicking in the bedroom. Each can be added to areas of his life in turn - you may wish to start off with him wearing panties just around the house, but progress to having him when you go out together, before having him wear them at all times, even to work. You might then add a bra or stockings to what he wears at home and follow a similar progression until he's permanently wearing them too, or simply reserve them for more intimate occasions. That's the beauty of lingerie discipline - you can take it as far as you want, but never need go any further. It's entirely up to you where you go with it. You might consider having your husband wear women's underwear whenever he's:

around the house

As we discussed earlier, the privacy of your home is the ideal place for getting your husband used to wearing lingerie for the purposes of discipline, allowing you to dress him up however you please without anyone else knowing. As well as fooling around occasionally, you can also make him wear lingerie on a more regular basis - presenting him with something appropriately feminine as he returns home from work or leaving it out for him while he's showering. Once he's become used to the idea, your husband can even be expected to get changed by himself without any further effort on your part, except perhaps to check that his choices meet with your approval. Of course, that doesn't preclude you from selecting his intimate attire yourself from time to time - either because you fancy a little fun with him in his frillies later that evening, or, as we shall see in the next chapter, he warrants time in something more severe.

However he dons it, you can have your husband remain in his lingerie for the remainder of the day, keeping his bra and panties on until it's time for bed - at least, in the absence of circumstances that might warrant otherwise. Of course, if you're expecting visitors or planning on going out, there's no reason why you can't have him change back into something more masculine for the duration, at least until he's used to wearing lingerie in public as well. On the whole, however, it's best for him to come to regard his lingerie as just another part of being at home, something to be accepted without argument in the same way he might automatically take his shoes off on entering the house. By keeping him so dressed around the home, you ensure that his attention remains focused on your needs and desires and can enjoy all the benefits of a gentler, more submissive husband whenever you're there together.
going out

Once your husband is used to wearing lingerie whenever he's at home, you can begin to progress to having him wear it whenever you're together, regardless of where that may be. Whether it's a visit to the cinema, a walk in the park, or simply a trip to the shops, there's no reason why you can't benefit from keeping your husband in women's underwear throughout. Doing so leaves him in no doubt as to who is in control of the situation, with his intimate attire fostering a more respectful attitude that's centred around you and your needs, whenever you're together. After all, it's impossible for a man to forget that he's wearing a bra or stockings when they remind him of their presence with every movement he makes, which in turn reinforces the reasons for him wearing such feminine attire. The occasional reminder is all that's needed from you to keep your husband right where you want him - his lingerie will do the rest.

We discussed the psychological challenges for a man wearing lingerie in public earlier, but once he grows more familiar with doing so, it becomes easier for your husband to put any irrational fears of discovery into perspective - to the extent that ultimately he'll be able to head outside in his frillies without undue trepidation, wearing them out and about as often as a woman would, albeit nowhere near as openly! Greater familiarity with wearing women's underwear in public doesn't make such lingerie discipline any less effective, however, but it does mean that you can have him wear such garments as a matter of course far sooner than you might initially anticipate. You might begin by just insisting on panties whenever you're with him, be that in or out of the house, but can easily progress to having your husband wearing all the lingerie a woman would in public as his confidence in keeping it hidden grows with time.
at work

Having your husband wear lingerie while he's with you is one thing, but some of the most profound benefits of lingerie discipline come from making him do so in your absence, where his intimate attire acts as a proxy for your wishes even when you're not around to express them yourself. By far the greatest amount of time most men spend away from their wives is when they're at work, which means to really appreciate everything that lingerie discipline has to offer, you'll want to consider adding at least panties to his work wardrobe, if not more. As we'll see later, it's perfectly feasible for a man to wear stockings and even a bra to work too, all safely hidden under his suit and tie so long as he employs a little common sense. Regardless of how much lingerie you have your husband wear, however, there's no way he'll be flirting with his secretary, colleagues or clients - no matter how tempting their feminine charms might otherwise be.

Indeed, the thought of being caught wearing such unmasculine attire by anyone he works with, let alone one of the office gossips, is sure to fill any man with terror. It's certainly quite a different proposition from being caught out by a random passer-by in the street, where the worst a feminized man might expect is a unkind snigger or rude remark as they walk on by, never to see them again. When it comes to colleagues he works with on a daily basis, let alone his boss, it's essential that his intimate attire must remain perfectly hidden - he may be acutely aware of its presence, but it's vital that no-one else makes what would be a most shameful and embarrassing discovery.

It's understandable for your husband, and indeed, yourself to be nervous about him wearing women's underwear to work as a result, but provided you follow our advice regarding keeping his intimate attire safely hidden, any such fears of discovery are quite ungrounded. Although a little anxiety on your husband's part will serve to make his lingerie discipline even more effective, countless women go to work every day without their colleagues knowing anything untoward about their choice of underwear, and your husband is no different - even if can't show the same flagrant disregard for modesty as some of his coworkers might. Nevertheless, prior to expecting him to wear lingerie full time to work, it's best to build up his confidence by having him do so in other, less critical areas of his life, extending his lingerie discipline to the office only when you're sure he's ready for it. The results are definitely worth the effort!
all the time

You've got him in lingerie when he's at home, when he's at work and when you go out together - he might even be sleeping in it, so what's next? It may sound like a tall order when you're just starting out with lingerie discipline, but some women keep their husbands in women's underwear all the time. Day in and day out, such men wear lingerie as a matter of course, whenever and wherever a woman would, as a symbol not just of submission but also of commitment to their wives. Their intimate attire acts as a wedding ring, albeit of an unorthodox kind, reminding the wearer of his vows to honour his wife whenever it makes its presence known, whilst simultaneously acting as a deterrent to anything that might try to come between them. Such couples are blessed with a stronger, more intimate relationship thanks to the mutual knowledge of what he wears for her.

When you and your husband have both come to appreciate the benefits that come from putting him in panties, you'll find that there really is no going back to more mundane masculine options. Boxer shorts and briefs simply don't cut it when compared to the seductive softness of satin and lace, with all their attendant effects on a man's attitude and behaviour. You can discard his male underwear now that it's no longer needed, and know that you and your husband share a very special secret whenever he's dressed - dressed for you.

Of course, there's no need to take things any further than you feel comfortable with, let alone as far as we've been discussing unless that's really what you want. It can't be stressed enough that lingerie discipline should be about what works for you and your husband in your particular situation - the purpose of this book is to suggest possibilities rather than to prescribe a particular path that you have to follow. If you'd rather keep your husband's lingerie as more of an occasional affair, perhaps as a way of keeping him on his toes from time to time, that's perfectly fine too. He certainly doesn't have to wear it continually for your relationship to benefit immensely from the times he does.

Keeping his lingerie hidden

After getting past any initial inhibitions regarding donning women's underwear at all, by far the greatest worry that most men have about wearing lingerie in public is the possibility that others might discover their intimate attire. Even men who love fooling around with lingerie in the bedroom may feel a little uneasy about wearing it out and about, put off by the prospect of becoming a target of ridicule from passers-by, let alone a laughing stock among their friends and colleagues. Those who require some convincing to put on panties in an erotic context are likely to be even more reluctant to do so outside the safety of the home, for fear of the shame that they are sure will result. It's a doubt often shared by women thinking about employing lingerie discipline - after all, it's perfectly reasonable not to want to subject the man you love to public humiliation and embarrassment. Quite apart from any concern for him, there's what other people would think about you were they to find out you make your husband wear women's underwear. No matter how loving lingerie discipline actually is, it's hard to explain that to a hostile audience.

Fortunately, both you and your husband can rest assured that there's absolutely no reason for anyone to ever discover what he's wearing under his regular clothing. Provided you take a little care to ensure that he's properly dressed before he leaves the house, his intimate attire can remain his little secret until he returns home again, no matter how vulnerable or exposed it might make him feel. We'll be discussing the specifics of individual garments in later chapters, but as general rule of thumb, all it takes is choosing the correct combination of clothing. Wearing a hot pink thong with hipster jeans and a black bra under a thin white shirt is obviously asking for trouble, quite apart from any fashion faux pas, but add a thick, loose T-shirt and a more sensible choice of trousers to the mix and the same underwear is no problem at all - even before you start considering lingerie that's easier to hide.

You may find it helpful to take your husband out for a spot of people watching, going somewhere where there are large numbers of women passing by, such as a shopping mall, in order to observe them together. Some women, especially those of a younger generation, practically flaunt their underwear, whereas others will have gone to rather more trouble to make sure that their intimate attire remains off limits as far as the casual onlooker is concerned. Take a seat at an outdoor table or stand on a balcony and discreetly remark on what you see, educating your husband as to the various ways in which women's underwear can be revealed, whether intentionally or otherwise. If you're feeling mischievous, you can use this as an opportunity to tease him a little, asking him which styles he finds attractive or would like to emulate himself - something that works especially well if his gaze wanders by itself. “Are you staring at that girl's baby blue bra straps? Maybe I should get you some like that. You'd look ever so cute in baby blue, don't you think? I don't think you should flaunt them as much as she did, however, not out in public, anyway!”.

To begin with, you'll want to offer your husband regular reassurance that his lingerie remains safely hidden, making a point of inspecting it carefully from time to time and confirming that it's impossible to tell what he's wearing. “No-one would ever know you've got panties on”, you can tell him, “not even if they were looking for them”. Of course, it's unlikely that anyone would ever be looking for them - not unless they're already familiar with the idea of men wearing lingerie. Whilst the subtle bumps of a bra's strap adjusters might be recognised for what they are by fellow practitioners of lingerie discipline or crossdressers who are actively looking for such signs, most people are simply too wrapped up in their own business to even consider the possibility - even when such tell-tale signs are staring them in the face. Panty lines and bra strap bumps are simply not things one expects to see on a man, nor things one looks for, and consequently most people do not see them!

That's not to say that your husband has to display even such subtle signs of his lingerie, merely to say that the chances are that no-one will pick up on them even if he were to do so. With a little more care, you can easily ensure there's absolutely no trace of his intimate attire visible from the outside, such that even other lingerie clad men and their wives would find it impossible to count your husband among their number. Besides, how many times have you looked for the signs of lingerie on a man, let alone spotted anything that conclusively proves it? With the exception of overt crossdressers, who go out of their way to project a feminine appearance, it's unlikely that any man wearing women's underwear will want you to know about it - so much so that you've probably already walked past countless men wearing panties, stockings or bras without ever having any inkling about their intimate attire.

Reinforcing its meaning

A pair of panties, stockings or a bra all provide ample reminder of your husband's lingerie discipline by their mere presence, with the unusual tactile sensations from such underwear hard for a man to ignore for any length of time. Every movement he makes reminds him of what he's wearing, whether due to the tug of elastic straps or suspenders, the snug embrace of tight, restrictive material or simply the soft caress of satin and nylon against his skin. In turn, that brings to mind the reasons for wearing such feminine attire in the first place, reinforcing his lingerie discipline without you needing to ever lift a finger. That's the power of women's underwear - it influences its wearer without any further effort on your part, improving his attitude and behaviour all by itself.

That doesn't mean you can't remind him yourself about what he's wearing - far from it! Not only does drawing his attention to his lingerie emphasise its effects, it also allows you to guide them in the direction you want, stressing particular aspects of his discipline so as to achieve your desired outcome. If you're having him wear panties to encourage him to be more submissive and respectful of your wishes, combine the two together by telling him “You're wearing panties now, so you have to do what I say”. If he's wearing stockings to keep him from succumbing to temptation, stroke his legs while reminding him that no other woman would be interested in him if they knew about his hosiery, but that you're looking forward to taking advantage of it later that evening. “Your stockings are like a chastity belt”, you can suggest, “They keep you pure and faithful just for me, because I want my man all to myself. You're far too good to share, especially in those sexy stockings you wear for me”.

Should you make him wear a bra while doing the chores, you can point out the connection between the two. “Go and put on your cleaning bra, it's time for my maid to do the housework!”, you can tell him before he sets to work, then “That bra of yours really does the trick - you've done a really good job” afterwards. Similarly, if you want him to return from the office or the bar at a reasonable time, let him know that “The sooner you get home, the sooner I'll let you out of that and into something much more comfortable”, or “You'd better behave yourself if you don't want anyone finding out about your sexy undies. I don't want anyone but me having fun with you in them”. Alternatively, you can give him something to think about. “What would your secretary say if she knew what you're wearing for me? Do you think she'd be jealous of your pretty panties?”.

Such reinforcement need not be solely verbal. A gentle caress is all it takes to remind your husband of what he's wearing, whether your hand glances across his stocking clad thighs or rests momentarily on his bra straps. “Everything nice and snug in there?”, you can tease him as you briefly fondle his groin or buttocks, or you can be more explicit in your enquires. “How are your panties?”, you can ask - whether openly, or whispered in his ear whilst out in public. “I love how you blush when I ask you that, you're so endearing when you're shy!”. For a more forceful reminder, you can reach into his shirt and snap his bra straps, something that's sure to take him by surprise. More intimately, if you're snuggling together on a sofa, you can work your hand down his trousers and toy with the waistband of his panties or his suspender elastic, or up his shirt and play with the cups of his bra - something that works just as well for the purposes of lingerie discipline as it might for erotic feminization.

All things feminine

Wearing lingerie will not magically turn your husband into a woman even if you wanted it to, nor can it ever give him a complete understanding of what we have to face as a result of our gender. There's a whole host of uniquely feminine problems that are far too complex to be imparted merely by donning a bra and panties, not only those caused by physiological differences but also the expectations placed on us by modern society - the difficulty of having to juggle both a job and a household, to name but one. Nevertheless, lingerie discipline can offer your husband some insights into matters he might otherwise remain utterly unaware of, often in surprising ways. He may never look remotely like a woman, let alone think or feel like one, but that doesn't mean he can't develop a greater understanding of some of what it means to be female, however limited, to the benefit of your relationship.

In the next chapter we'll look at how making your husband wear a padded bra can give him a greater respect for women's breasts and the problems that come with a larger bust, perhaps as a punishment for indulging in pornography that features similarly well endowed ladies. Education in matters feminine need not be restricted to such chastisement, however - simply wearing stockings himself will give a man a deeper understanding about the care that women must show their clothes, as well as practical experience of what can snag nylons and how irritating that can be. The need to keep his bra hidden helps him to appreciate that women can't just throw anything on and hope to get away with it if they wish to look their best, even if his concern for how his clothes co-ordinate stem from completely different reasons. Moreover, having to deal with suspenders, especially when his panties are on the wrong side of them, gives a man some inkling as to why his wife takes longer than he does both getting ready and in the bathroom.

As your husband becomes more familiar with women's underwear, you'll find he unconsciously acquires a knowledge of its different styles and fashions, thanks to his first-hand experience of such feminine garments. Although he's unlikely to come to appreciate every trend in ladies clothing unless you choose to educate him further, even knowing the difference between a balconette bra and a push-up one or the different deniers of hosiery is more than most men can claim. You may find him more receptive to shopping for clothes together as a result or better able to give an honest opinion on how you look in a particular outfit. He'll also know why you don't want to wear sexy underwear all the time for him - something many men not blessed with such an intimate knowledge of lingerie have surprising difficulty appreciating.

Keeping it on

It's reasonably easy to convince a man of the benefits of wearing women's underwear in the bedroom, but you may be wondering how to persuade your husband to go along with lingerie discipline without having to resort to arousing him all the time. Moreover, although it's relatively straightforward to ensure that your husband is wearing his intimate attire while you're with him, the same sadly can't be said for when you're apart - the very time when the benefits of having him wear lingerie for you are at their greatest. The last thing you want is to send him out to work in his bra and panties, only for him to take them off the moment he's out of sight, yet for some men this can prove all too tempting. The fleeting benefit to be had from divesting himself of his lingerie can momentarily eclipse the far greater long term rewards of remaining in such intimate attire, however guilty he may feel afterwards about letting you down. How can you ensure your husband remains true to you in this respect?

Like erotic feminization, lingerie discipline is something that requires a man's consent in order to work. It is impossible, not to mention undesirable, to make a man wear something that, deep down, he doesn't want to. In order for such discipline to stand any chance of success, he must submit to it out of his own free will, however reluctant he may seem about acquiescing on the surface. Whether he is prepared to be put in panties depends solely on whether the advantages of doing so outweigh the disadvantages from his perspective - one that may differ radically from you own, as well as being shaped by immediate influences. It's vital to appreciate where he is coming from and to work with him to achieve the outcome you desire than simply trying to impose it on him.

Familiarity with wearing lingerie in a safe environment can help tip the balance in your favour, as can making the benefits of going along with your wishes more obvious - whether by actively rewarding him for his cooperation, or simply by spelling out the undoubted improvements you see in him as a result. Conversely, both unfounded fears and more justified concerns can act against you, as can a perceived lack of consequences from taking the easy way out - especially if he thinks he can simply get away with taking off his lingerie in your absence without you ever finding out. Quite apart from not wanting to face an angry wife, a loving husband won't want to let you down, but that may not stop him from thinking that what you don't know about won't hurt you - one of the very reasons he might benefit from lingerie discipline in the first place!

We've already looked at building up your husband's confidence with respect to wearing lingerie in public, as well as tackling any concerns he may have about doing so, but to begin with, it's also helpful to provide additional rewards on top of those inherent in his discipline. Simply expressing your appreciation of his efforts from time to time can go a long way in persuading him to do more of the same - it can be surprising just how much a regular drip feed of verbal encouragement can inspire a man. Significant milestones may warrant something rather more special, either promised in advance to act as an incentive to go the extra distance, or simply as a surprise. Of course, treating him may be something you were planning on doing anyway, but if your husband believes he has earned it as a result of wearing lingerie for you, that's all to the good.

It's also possible to make it far harder for your husband to get away with disobeying your wishes without facing up to the consequences of letting you down. Some garments are easily adapted to make them impossible to take off without leaving undeniable evidence of their removal - many bras and most foundation wear are particularly amenable to being made tamper evident in this way, as we'll see later. Although this won't stop a determined man from divesting himself of such garments, it acts as enough of a hurdle for the idly tempted husband, knowing that any attempt to do so will be impossible to deny. Similarly, he may be inclined to keep his panties on simply because he has nothing else to wear - and if he's already wearing one item of feminine lingerie, what difference does another make?

Moreover, like any other clothing, lingerie is affected by being worn for any length of time - it absorbs odours and oils from skin, such that a pair of panties that have remained on all day will be distinctly different to those that have spent the majority of the time in a drawer and put on just before returning home. Elasticated garments, not to mention those with underwires or boning, will also leave quite distinct marks on the skin, lingering for a while but also taking some time to form - a clear indication of whether they've just been donned or not. Should you be in any doubt as to whether your husband has remained faithful with respect to his lingerie, you can simply look him in the eye and ask him to be honest with you - assuming he's appropriately attired when you enquire, he'll find it far harder to lie to your face thanks to what he's wearing, especially if he's naked apart from his underwear and you're not.

It's important for your husband to understand that there are consequences to not keeping his word, let alone attempting to be deceitful about it. Should you discover that he has deliberately defied your wishes despite his assurances to the contrary, you may wish to punish him in kind, and lingerie provides ample opportunities for doing so, as we shall see in the next chapter. Although the desire to avoid punishment is sure to motivate a man, it's best to reserve such sanctions for those occasions on which he has intentionally decided to let you down, preferring more positive reinforcement wherever possible so as not to leave your husband with the impression that lingerie discipline is a punishment in itself. After all, a woman who wears lingerie on a daily basis is not being punished for anything (however much we might think otherwise sometimes!), and the same is true for a man who submits to lingerie discipline - no matter how much the benefits he derives from such clothing may differ to those of a woman, it should still be a fundamentally positive and enriching experience for him.

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